Dini's posts with tag: jakarta
 THE MERCY OF ONE NIGHT
I just moved to another different rented room on a different area code, again. This time to support my latest project. I decided that some process in life no matter how ordinary it will sound, are to be called projects. It made me more in focus, and it is the antithesis of the "where ever the flow will lead me"concept. Because, I haven't relish the benefit of it, all it did was shaping an amorphous future for me. That and total oblivion of what, where, who and when in my past. It's like you were injected too much toxic chemical in your body that you just can't remember what you did, the person you met, the thoughts you say out loud, the people you love, then waking up sober to find out that some one has invent a clock that can predict how many days left for you to live, you may find out that you are going to live for another 20 years. You sigh of relieve, but then you remember that you haven't travel the globe, yet, invent the new revolutionary art movement so that when you die you have your own statue in some park in the city. You haven't write the greatest most strikingly beautiful novel, which its witty lines are often quoted by everyone in the entire world. You haven't found the love of your life that you want to spend the next 20 years with. You haven't fight for a clean government and enjoy the fresh clean air of Central Jakarta. You haven't made a monumental movie that changes every ones life once they have seen it. You haven't give up your regrets and see why there are such thing called a sweet mistake. Hell, you haven't found who you are, yet.20 years is a short time, time is relative. And " where ever the flow will lead me "could be my excuse to not do the best that i can do.
I rented a room out of the 100 rooms available, it was in the back of a building that kids 10 to 18 years old have their afternoons extra course to perfect their grades in school, which was in the back of a pharmacy and a doctorÕs clinic. You can see the big sign 'Apotek Bundaran Pancoran' right besides the circle K, hey what do you know, I'll be hanging out at CircleK now. It was set in an area called Pancoran, just near that statue I so ignorantly not knowing of it's history though I had lived in this city for almost 20 years. Which I never thought of before, until some one asked me so, what's the story behind this statue?and I stare to spaces, as if flying alphabets will appear from no where and form words that will become sentences and a god damn explanations, but after 5 seconds of waiting I just said a lame I don't know
I needed to move because I need a strategic place between Tebet and Wijaya, I know that everyone who knows Jakarta will not agree with me, being this place called A strategic place between Tebet and Wijaya. Tebet, yes, of course, it is only a statue away, but Wijaya? that's more like two highway exits and one or two fly overs away.
But, I think I am into the idea of having a new adventure in a new place, more than anything. I have a home, my parents home, and that;s where I came to regroup. But being my age with my sort of job, I needed a place of my own, besides my parents house is just to far away from the center of all things. It is a bit of dilemma though, every time I decided to move out, because, I'm kind of the typical asian daughter, I worried about my parents, their health and well being, I wanted to be there for them, and evidently they have become more dependent on me and me being less dependent on them.
There is this office building just right beside my place, at night I could see the lights on their windows. And it is interesting to imagine of what goes on in the building, the 9th floor, the 12 floor, It's like I'm watching you watch over me feeling.
You see, I really don't bring any entertainment equipment to this room, I mean no TV, no Stereo. and it became just four walls surrounding me. I need the mercy of the night, tonight. and the night after that. If I can stop pushing people out of my life and start to let them in, then maybe I will take the night as it is. Full of light, apologetic to visual flaws, and most of all the anticipation for tomorrow. Make a toast, Salut!
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